


The Dean Kiss

by Waywardwiz



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-19
Updated: 2015-02-19
Packaged: 2018-03-13 18:47:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3392312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waywardwiz/pseuds/Waywardwiz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This little piece of angsty-fluff takes place after Pierce's terribly named Gay Bash. Abed confronts Jeff with something he'd rather not think about and cherry, praline and Dean Winchester ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dean Kiss

**The Dean Kiss**

Jeff knew that he hadn’t been quite honest with Britta about why he had un-cancelled and actively participated in the preparations for Pierce’s big gay bash. He wanted to help Pierce (they were some kind of friends, after all) and the thought of letting a horrible old homophobe get away with such massive bigotry had left a foul taste in his mouth. Of course it was a little bit about his dad as well, but who could blame him? The guy had never been there for Jeff. His mother had been both Mum and Dad and done a fine job of it. She had nursed him when he was sick, helped him with his homework, patiently answered all his questions, even the silliest ones – Mum was the smartest person in the entire world to pre-school Jeff – and explained time and time again that it wasn’t his fault that his father had left, her arms wrapped around him in a safe embrace. William Winger had never done that. He’d not been to a single parent-teacher conference and he hadn’t even bothered sending Jeff a card when he was in the hospital because of the scar he had made in his stomach when faking appendicitis in an excellent burst of stupidity and loneliness.

So yeah, he might have some unresolved issues concerning fathers. He just didn’t want Britta to be able to hold anything above his head, even though he knew that she was way too good a person to ever gloat about her knowledge of his weakness. Britta was a better person than anyone, basically. He mocked her for her compassion and zealous intensity when in truth he was sort of jealous of her ability to rise above apathy in a world where there was so many important things to fight for and so few people who really wanted to do so. Britta fought for them all with such great fervor that it was exhausting to witness but she did _good_. Jeff liked to think that he wanted to do good, too, and that this in part was the reason why he had thrown the gay bash. He wish he’d had the presence of mind to change the name of the event, since it was pretty offensive and it implied that the party was directed towards male homosexuals only. That fortunately hadn’t stopped lesbians, bisexuals and people from other parts of the sexual spectrum to assemble, which he was grateful for. No one should be excluded and he thought that Britta was secretly proud of him.

“This bottle episode was immensely satisfying conclusion vise” a voice said, pulling him out of his thoughts. Jeff couldn’t help smiling. At first Abed’s distanced meta-language, somewhat flighty behavior and intense and terrifyingly accurate analyses of other people had irked Jeff but through the last couple years he had come to appreciate these elements as parts of a unique Abed-experience. He’d miss them if Abed went to school one morning and was suddenly what others might describe as “normal”. Abed was _Abed_. Batman, the Inspector, Brown Jimmy Lee Curtis. That was Abed and he wouldn’t be Abed without his quirky but profoundly deep observations, his awkward attempts to connect with people and his excessive use of pop culture references. What was it about this day that made him so sentimental? First Britta and now Abed.

“I think so too” he answered as he turned to face Abed, for once feeling very content, “it tied together nicely” “yeah. It was very you-and-Pierce centric, both together and as separate subjects, but I thought that worked nicely with the theme of the episode” Abed said, sipping at a colorful fruity drink. Jeff’s curiosity was awoken, “how do you figure?” “Well, the theme seems to me to be about accepting who you are and letting go of the things that hold you back in life. For Pierce it was his father’s expectations although I still think there will be repercussions to going against his wishes. I look forward to it.” Abed grinned at the prospect of more chaos and how he could fit it into the Hollywood model, “you on the other hand still refuse to acknowledge the fact that the reason you’re working so hard on this party is that it enables your continued delusion that you’ve overcome your father abandoning you as a child and that this kind of festive setting allow for you to consider your own sexuality without it seeming out of place”

Jeff had been nursing a drink while Abed spoke but the longer he talked the further his purple straw slipped out between his lips, all thoughts of getting drunk slipping into the background for the moment to be replaced with blank shock. “What? I don’t… What?” “please don’t do the whole denial thing. It’s a tired trope” “Abed I’m not gay” Jeff said, his mouth feeling dry and sandpapery. Abed shock his head and moved closer to him with an almost conspiring look on his face, “I never said you were” “You did! You didn’t say it but you… said it, you know.” He took hold of Abed’s wrist a little firmer than strictly necessary, neglecting to notice how this action meant that Abed was pulled even nearer to him, “Abed, you haven’t talked to people about this, have you?” Jeff tugged at his collar with his free hand to get rid of the strangling sensation – was it hot in here? He was sweating like a pig. Abed looked totally unfazed so it might be just him who was freaking out. “I have not” Abed actually looked a little hurt at the implied accusation, “I just think that you might be bisexual. What do you make of this assessment?” Through the fog in his head Jeff registered vaguely that he hadn’t let go of Abed’s arm and he thought that this might send some contradicting messages but for some reason he did nothing about it. “I’m into women, if you hadn’t noticed. I can show you my box with stuff ladies – “ “Left in your apartment, yes. I don’t think you know how bisexuality works, Jeff. I’ve noticed you looking at me different and sometimes Troy, and Rich, and the Dean one time when you were very drunk and – “

Jeff had heard enough. He took his hand off of Abed and tried his best to ignore how his palm tingled when it left the warmth of his friend’s skin. He locked eyes with Abed on last time, seeing a strange mix of both sadness and resolution in them, before turning around and storming away. He pushed through the masses of dancing bodies and onto the dance floor where it was most crowded and hid between the people even though he was almost certain that Abed hadn’t attempted to follow him. Abed refused to do certain tropes. Jeff knew that following someone and yelling their name in desperation was one of them. A tall guy with big blue eyes started dancing close to him, flashing a 100 watt grin and impressively big upper arms. He placed both hands firmly on Jeff’s hips, trying to make him join the dance instead of standing awkwardly still but Jeff wrestled out of his grip and walked towards the exit in a brisk yet orderly fashion. Okay no, he fled like a chicken but there was no need to delve on that. Hiding seemed like the best idea right now.

He had wanted to go home after his encounter with Abed and Sir grinds-a-lot but then Pierce had decided to let himself be bossed around by his father and stage a heart attack because he got unpopular by denouncing Hawthorne Wipes’ connection to the gay community. Jeff had then confronted Cornelius about his utter lousiness as a father, yelled at him for a solid minute and caused him to have a real not-fake-at-all heart attack. And that was how Jeff Winger had killed an old racist, sexist, homophobic douche. And _then_ he went home.

 

Abed showed up at his doorstep the next day, carrying an oversized woven basket filled to the brim with wine, chocolate, cookies, cooking oils and a pink teddy bear. On the handle a tasteful red bow was tied as a cherry on top of that sundae. His expression was solemn and his furrowed brow made him look like an immensely confused owl. He clutched the basket against his chest like it was a lifesaver as he scrutinized Jeff with his dark eyes, not saying anything. Jeff wanted to say something clever or witty or disarming, something to diffuse the tension. For a second he even considered saying something rude, if that was what it took to make Abed go away. But even though he was a tiny bit terrified of this encounter, he was also curious as to what Abed wanted from him. “what are you doing here?” he asked, “and what’s with the valentine’s over-load?” “I’ve been told that presents make for a good way to make amends when having hurt or offended someone. I didn’t know what kind of chocolate you preferred, so I bought five kinds, cherry and praline included. Can I come in?” “they would make for a good way to make amends if I was your girlfriend and you had forgotten our anniversary. Abed, this is too much” he said but still took a step back, allowing Abed into his apartment. Abed made straight for his couch and sat down, pulling his legs up under him on the leather couch. Jeff flinched at the thought but at least the other man had taken off his shoes before putting them on his upholstery. For himself he chose the armchair across from the couch, opting to be as far away from Abed as possible without seeming rude, even though part of him wanted to join his friend. “What are you doing here, exactly?” “I made you uncomfortable yesterday. It wasn’t my place to say those things. Sometimes I forget that you guys are real people and not part of a TV show. You make your own plotlines and your own mistakes and I shouldn’t try to narrate your stories.” Abed said in a rush, stopping only once to draw in breath, “so I came to apologize” Jeff smiled a little. He had never been able to stay mad at Abed, the guy was all good – if slightly misplaced – intentions and soft eyes. “It’s alright” he said and then wanted to reel in that statement instantly when Abed calmly asked, “can I kiss you?”

Jeff’s brain came to a screeching halt, completely void of any sensible thought process. _No_ a voice sounding like his own hissed urgently inside his head, _no no no no_ – “yes” With no preamble Abed rose from his seat smoothly, an almost feline grace that Jeff wasn’t used to on his gangly friend. _He’s playing a character_ it occurred to Jeff, “who are you supposed – “ his words drowned against Abed’s lips and everything went blank once again cos holy crap was Abed a great kisser.   
The kiss was fierce and intense and somehow too much too fast. Abed knew exactly how much pressure to apply and when to lick Jeff’s upper lip, causing Jeff to wrap his previously limp arms around Abed, pulling him against his chest. It was like his body and mind had unfrozen when their lips touched and now everything came back to him in a rush of colors and flashing lights behind closed eyes. He ran his hand through Abed’s hair – God it was soft – and held him tightly, suddenly unable to get enough of the feel of the slim body so close to his own. Abed lost balance for a second and stumbled all the way into Jeff’s lap, breaking their kiss. He leaned in again to continue where he’d left off but Jeff crocked his head so that the kiss landed on his cheek rather than his mouth. Abed drew back, tilting his own head in confusion, his act clearly having slipped away with his concentration.  
“Why did we stop? I thought you liked it, you were responding with the proper signals, your face is flushed and your heartrate has accelerated – “   
“I need to know who you are” “Abed” “no. the character you kiss with. Tell me. Is it Han Solo?” Abed nodded, a rare smile on his face. Then it grew mischievous – it was a look Jeff had never seen on Abed before, but it suited him. It made him look relaxed and content but also slightly dangerous, “no. the character I was playing was Dean Winchester” “that guy from that show. Supernatural” Obviously pleased with his knowledge concerning pop culture, Abed nodded, “yes. Before he met Castiel, that is. His kissing behavior changes after that. Or that’s my analysis anyway. I think they’re gonna become canon, even though the show right now is experiencing an alarming amount of queer-baiting” Jeff’s head was reeling from all the info, “I’ve only made it to season 5, no spoilers. But...” he took a deep breath, bracing himself, because once he asked Abed to kiss him again, he knew he would be done for. No way back. “how would Dean kiss Castiel, then?”

“like this” Abed’s words were a whisper in his ear before he gently pressed his forehead against Jeff’s and locked their eyes. Jeff couldn’t look away and there were a thousand hopes and dreams and maybe’s in those brown eyes and Jeff didn’t know where Dean ended and Abed began and that frightened him a little but there was no way he could let go of Abed when he looked at him like that and touched him like he was made of stardust and perfection and – and then Abed kissed him. It was soft, gentle, barely there. A ghost of a kiss that still somehow managed to convey years of things that should not have been left unspoken, promises and fears, and was he Cas and could he be Cas forever?

He pulled away slightly, but not further than he was still able to feel Abed’s ragged breath against his face. Somehow he took immense pleasure from the fact that he had finally found a way to render Abed speechless.  Yet after half a minute or so he couldn’t refrain from saying, “I need you.” Jeff felt a rush of heat go through his – well, everything. He knew that Abed had always spoken his mind about everything, but he had never been so blunt about... stuff like that. Until he realized that Abed was still in character, “Abed. Season 5. Remember?”   
“Don’t ever change” Abed said. “Better. I know that one” he looked at Abed, then a little passed him and saw the basket. He had completely forgotten about it and what it implied. It all came back to him; the party, his bi-freak out, Abed’s apology, ending with this moment and the startling realization that he was okay with it all. He didn’t feel any different except... good. He felt at ease and warm inside and Abed was still in his lap and he didn’t want him to go but still Abed stood up and it was suddenly cold, why? “Are... are you leaving?” “Yeah” Abed said but he took Jeff’s hand to soften his words, “I think you have some things to sort out”   
“why? I kissed you. You kissed me. I’m not running away this time. I’m sorry I did.” He knew those were some not-so-Jeff things to say but they were true and if he couldn’t be honest with Abed, then who? Abed smiled – a gentle, tiny smile, so very Abed, “I’ll still be there tomorrow. Two seats from you, between Britta and Troy”

He rose and walked away but stood still in the doorway and looked back at Jeff. Jeff would have joined him, it wasn’t very polite to not send off your guest at the door, but his legs wouldn’t obey him. “Abed” he said. “Yeah?” Abed asked. “I’m hunted, I rebelled. And I did it, all of it, for you” he said in a rough voice, quoting Castiel. Abed’s eyes shone, “you’re a huge nerd” “Thanks. And Abed” “what is it?” “how do Abed kiss?” Abed laughed, quiet and secretively. He was halfway out the door when he looked over his shoulder and said, “I’ll show you”


End file.
